The Daily Perversion

Who was Leon Trotsky?

2012-02-11T08:57:00.001-08:00

True communism leaves no system of command. It calls for mankind to be a brotherhood of equals. So there were a lot of confused Russians after the revolution of 1917! And all of this happened when the country was at war with Germany (WWI).

The Russian army had a reputation for being massive in size but untrained and even unarmed. Lenin himself had advocated their failure and loss before he came to power. Trotsky believed that the war would turn into more of a class struggle. After they seized power it was clear that the army would need leadership. So watch this, kids: Trotsky, a former campus revolutionary became a bloodthirsty warlord who circled Russia in an armoured tank/train, brutally stamping out any resistance to the new communist order that stood in his way.

Many people today would like to think that Trotsky, if he had grabbed power instead of Stalin, would have created a more gentler dictatorship. This belief in an alternate communism is called, 'Trotskyism.' It amounts to saying, 'Gosh maybe if we could have found a nicer Nazi leader, the Third Reich wouldn't have been so bad.' The main tenant of Trotskyism is that Communism cannot exist in one country alone. What Trotsky wanted was to bring his brand of violence abroad. So it turns out that Josef Stalin was more of a gentler commie, believing in socialism in one country.

In 1921 their was an uprising led by Baltic sailors against the new regime of Soviets. They had sent out a group to witness what was happening in Russian towns and they discovered that the new order was brutalizing people. Some of there demands were elections held using secret ballots, that farmers be allowed to own cattle as long as they do not employ human hired help, free speech, and a task force to look into whether prisoners were in the gulag for political reasons. The sailors were clearly not Czarists; they believed that the revolution should have given Russians freedom and democracy. Trotsky treated them as if they were terrorists out to destroy Mother Russia: About 60,000 died.

Meanwhile as the new Soviet system was taking away people's land, Trotsky set up his farmer parents with a new vocation. He liked calling opponents, 'bourgeroise,' but then that's exactly what the communist leaders friends and family became.

As Stalin seized power after Lenin died, Trotsky became an exile. From Mexico he continued to be an opposition force for his fellow tyrant. As the Soviet government continued to take people land in what became known as, 'collectivization,' an estimated 30 million people were killed. Trotsky's main concern was that the farms weren't being taken away quickly enough, calling for this whole scheme to be further, 'militarized.'

The ruthless army man died at the age of 60 in 1940, when one of Stalin's agents killed him with an ice pick.

Can I Quit Smoking Naturally?

2012-02-05T10:19:00.000-08:00

In movies cigarettes gave actors something to do with their hands, they suggested an anti-puritanical persona, and they made celebrities look cool.

What the public saw in movies they quickly wanted to emulate. The grey wisps of smoke became a very important part of our social scenes and, whenever there was an awkward moment, a smoke could get you through it.

Today we are well aware of the health risks associated with tobacco use. Awareness has caused those who crave cancer sticks to become socially stigmatized. People look to nicotine patches and gum to supplement their desire for a drag. All to often this turns out to be a short-term fix that doesn't work.

A SIMPLE NATURAL METHOD FOR QUITTING CIGARETTES:

People who want to quit focus on the physiological effects of nicotine withdrawal. But what about the psychological? When you stop smoking you don't realize how much you miss blowing and seeing the smoke.

TRY SMOKING IN A PITCH BLACK ROOM!

No matter how silly it sounds it works! You'll quickly find that when you can't see the smoke from the burning cigarette it will begin to loose its appeal.

Also, if you try this method, experiment with smoking your least favourite brand of cigarette. If you want to quit, why would you go out and buy the smokes that you prefer? If you love regulars and hate menthols, buy menthols when you find yourself making that loathsome tobacco purchase!

Good luck with kicking the habit!

Family Guy Fan Fiction: Faster than the Speed of Love

2012-01-31T08:02:00.000-08:00

One of the first things that you noticed about Captain Brian Griffin, the greatest Air Force ace of all time, was that he was a man and not a dog. A very good-looking man who was the pinnacle of masculinity. A brilliant scholar, writer, artist, and somebody who enjoyed reading, 'The New Yorker,' but above all, he certainly was not a dog.

Captain Brian flew one of those jets that was big and black with rockets and missiles. He'd do loops and circle around the air base. His favourite thing to do was go out on patrol with the love of his life, Loisa. She was a foxy redhead and deeply in love with Captain Brian. They'd go out in their jets and do loop de loops and stuff.

At their airbase everyone was on the alert because, in the rogue Canadian province of Saskatchewan, a vile degenerate had seized power. He called himself Joseph Stalin Quagmire. He was a terrible perverse man who, if Captain Brian had ever met, wouldn't grasp his higher intellectual pursuits

Just then Lieutenant Petra Griffin landed her old propeller powered airplane. She was a big, ungainly woman.

Petra approached Captain Brian and saluted and then said, "Hello, sir. I am a woman. As a woman I am unable to ever be in love with Loisa. I will never marry her and live in a house with her and have three kids and a dog somewhere in Rhode Island. That would be completely impossible."

Then Petra went off to do woman pilot things.

Loisa flew a jet similar to Captain Brian's. While she was very feminine and good at jumping Captain Brian, she was also a very capable fighter pilot. Just then she landed her plane and got out and made out with Captain Brian so that everybody could see, including Petra.

Oh yeah, there were other pilots under Captain Griffins command: There was Stew, Chris, and a guy named Meg.

The trouble began when Captain Brian and Loisa were out doing maneuvers. They accidentally flew into enemy Saskatchewani airspace. They were doing loopdeloops and all sorts of wild turns. Captain Brian loved flying with Loisa because it was like having sex with her in the air. But then, after they got carried away, Saskatchewani Migs (Migs are always those ugly little planes) scrambled and intercepted them. Captain Brian dodged a missile but it went straight into Loisa's plane. Out of all of the smoke and fire, he was glad to see her parachute as she descended into a wheat field.

A Mig from the Saskatchewani airforce

He returned home to assemble a group of former WW2 pilots to fly into Saskatchewan to save her. And by this point they were in their nineties.

And so they flew into Saskatchewan in the dead of night (or possibly in the morning) and there was a lot of shooting and missiles and so on and so on. Then Captain Brian punched Joseph Stalin Quagmire in the face and broke Louisa out of the prison she was being held in and they made off.

The End

Tomatoes are Poison! That's why we use them in ketchup.

2012-01-26T07:33:00.000-08:00

In the olden days tomatoes weren't even used to make ketchup because the settlers knew that they were pure poison. Indiginous to South America, the tomato became popular in Mexico and Europe after they were discovered by Spanish Conquistadors. In America, however, they were grown as a decorative plant...

Beautiful. Aren't they?

When ketchup became popular it had other ingredients. In the 1690's the Chinese mixed together the brine of pickled seafood with spices and called the result, 'ke-chiap.' British explorers liked it and the sauce soon became popular back in England.

Meanwhile, in the U.S., the tomato was still pure poison. One of the reasons why is because it is: The whole plant (except for the fruit) isn't particularly good for you. Another reason why people feared eating them is because of their close similiarity to another plant: Deadly Nightshade. Still another reason is because many have an aversion to tomatoes: They just smell rotten.

Legend has it that in 1820 a Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson sat on the steps of the courthouse in Salem, New Jersey, and ate a basket full of tomatoes in front of an amazed crowd who had gathered to watch him die. To their astonishment he did not and it slowly became recognized that a tomato wasn't a method in which one could kill themselves.

However, people aren't always keen to pick up new habits. The tomatoes popularity in ketchup came from the fact that people preferred eating them after they were highly processed. Soon the tomato would become an American favourite.

Playing with Radioactive Toys

2012-01-15T10:53:00.000-08:00

Radium was first discovered by Pierre and Marie Currie who isolated it from uraninite, an ore also known as, 'pitchblende' because of its dark, dense colour. The fact that it glowed in the dark could have been the first sign that it was a dangerous substance. Marie mused: "One of our joys was to go into our workroom at night. The glowing tubes looked like faint, fairy lights." Soon their hands were permanently scarred from exposure to radiation.

Revealing their discovery at a physics conference, the public was soon captivated by its magic. The Curries didn't apply for a patent and many others would soon capitalize on the huge benefits and applications for this wonder of the future.

What makes ingesting radium so incredibly unhealthy is that the body can't tell the difference between it and calcium so the radiation ends up getting stored in your bones. The unsuspecting public was glad for a cure-all that was sure to invigorate them. It was added to everything from cosmetics, toothpaste, chocolate, and even condoms.

The Revigator Company started to produce coolers that would add radiation to the water stored inside. Hundreds of thousands were sold with instruction saying that you should drink at least six cups a day.

Chemists at the U.S. Radium Corporation donned masks and worked behind lead screens. Meanwhile they hired 70 women to work with radium. Because of its luminescence it was added to paint so that dials could be read at night. To sharpen the tips of their paint brushes, the women put them in their mouths, unaware of the danger. Most of them would eventually suffer from serious bone ailments and cancer.

In 1927 a popular millionaire playboy named Eben Byers was sleeping on a speeding train when he fell out of bed, hurting his arm. The injury started to cause him persistent pain. A doctor recommended that he try, 'Radithor,' which was bottled water infused with radium. Try it he did: 1400 bottles later and Byer's jaw fell off and there were abscesses in his brain. He died in 1932. People began to suspect that maybe radiation wasn't a cure-all, after all.

But still people didn't learn...

By the early 1950's A.C. Gilbert was a man behind a successful set of toys which included chemistry and construction sets. But he envisioned that the boys that played with these would grow up to become atomic scientists so he pushed things further with the creation of the, 'Atomic Energy Lab.'

Because of it's already high price of $50 and the fact that Gilbert was still loosing money on every one he sold, the set was soon discontinued. It is now a very expensive collectors item.

The Real Lord of War

2012-01-13T08:24:00.000-08:00

Many people have seen the Nick Cage movie, 'Lord of War.' In it Yuri Orlev is a major arms dealer who jet sets around the world selling weapons to any army willing to buy.

Who was a real Lord of War? His name's Oliver North.

The Iran-Contra Affair was big news in the mid to late 80's. Since Islamic radicals in the Middle East had been taking hostages, Ollie realized that he could secure their release by selling weapons to Iran. It was against U.S. policy to give anything to Iran! (and still is). However, many later began to regard Ollie as a hero because he was working for the greater good: Freeing the hostages. The money that he attained from the sales went straight to the Contras in Nicaragua who were trying to overthrow the Socialist Sandinistas. That made the whole Reagen administration look pretty bad.

In 1987 this made for some interesting TV! North had to testify in front of a Congressional Committee on the scandal. Here's a quote: "I came here to tell you the truth, the good, the bad, and the ugly." -Oliver North sounding like Clint Eastwood.

In the movie, 'Lord of War,' Nick Cage's character is protected by a mysterious military man. This character's name is Oliver Southern! That's a pretty good parody!

Take Your Clothes Off to Support Weiwei!

2012-01-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

Chinese artist Ai Weiwei has a penchant for annoying Chinese authorities. But that's a good thing because he is concerned about his country's dismal track record on human rights. In 2008, after the Sichuan earthquake, he began to compile a list of all of the students killed in it. He was up to 5,385 names when the authorities shut his blog down. In a scandal nicknamed, 'Tofu- skin schoolhouses,' it became apparent that many places of education were shoddily-built. By 2009 Weiwei was in a German hospital being treated for internal bleeding because of beatings he had received while in police custody. By 2011 he was detained for no apparent reason. Since then the communist hierarchy has harassed him over threats that he owes back taxes and that some of his photography is pornographic. A blog was started last November so that fans of Weiwei could post there own nude pics under the banner: 'Listen, Chinese Government: Nudity is not Pornography.' To submit a photo email it to aiweifan@gmail.com or tweet it with the hashtag, @awfan.

Proof that Weiwei pays his taxes.

Funny German Words

2012-01-06T08:03:00.000-08:00

While many people criticize the German language as not being phonetically beautiful, did you know that it's closely related to English? A Chinese person, unfamiliar with either language, wouldn't be able to tell the difference between a German speaker and an English one!

But Germans have some pretty great words!

Here are a few...

SCHADENFREUDE: Proving that they have a word for everything, it means taking pleasure out of someone elses misery.

KRANKENSHWESTER: It translates into, 'sick sister.' The German way of saying, 'nurse.'

BUNDESRAT: This is a word for the house of government that, in many English countries, would be called a, 'senate.' It's great because it refers to politicians and also has the word, 'rat' in it.

AUGENBLICK: An eye blink; a very short period of time.

NEUNHUNDERTNEUNUNDNEUNZIG: Is the word for the number 999.

FLEDERMAUS: The little flying mammal that comes out at night to eat insects; what we call a, 'bat.' This is a great word because it calls up an image of a fluttering mouse.

ZUSAMMENKLAPPEN: To fold together.

AUFSCHLUCHZEN: To sob loudly.

ERFRISCHUNGSGETRAENKE: This is a mouthful if you ever want to order a, 'soda.'

RECHTSSCHUTZVERSICHERUNGEN: A law/insurance company.

And now, because the Germans took David Hasselhoff away from us and won't give him back, let's take some of their words and put them in an English sentence:

Proving that there is still SCHADENFREUDE in this world a KRANKENSHWESTER was laughing at me because as I drove to the BUNDESRAT, in an AUGENBLICK, NEUNHUNDERTNEUNUNDNEUNZIG FLEDERMAUS' ZUSAMMENKLAPPEN'd into my car which made me AUFSCHLUCHZEN so I drank an ERFRISCHUNGSGETRAENKE as I headed for the RECHTSSCHUTZVERSICHERUNGEN to look into the damages.

Christians to Kids: Santa is Not Real!

2011-12-21T07:56:00.000-08:00

Last Christmas Archbishop Fabriciano Sigampa told his parishioners that Santa Claus is not real. It is unknown how many children were in attendance and how many of them burst into tears as Sigampa called, 'the fat man dressed in red' a marketing ploy to commercialize Christmas.
Sigampa should keep his belief that Santa doesn't exist to himself!

Many of us who keep up an illogical belief that Santa is real also have thoughts that Jesus Christ is a made-up marketing ploy to get people to go to church...

The commercialization of Christmas using Jesus as a symbol who they claim will shortly return to usher in an Armageddon of locusts and firestorms, is surely a tactic to scare people into joining one of the many competing Christian faiths. Without new people coming on board religion would falter, declaring bankruptcy.Then the American government would likely step in with a bailout package. Fiat would probably merge with the Vatican and Popemobiles will finally be mass-produced for the rest of us.

But please Father Sigampa: let the poor children at least have some hope that there may be a Santa Claus! One day scientists will probably completely disprove his existance and we'll all know for sure. Until that time what's the harm in believing in a jolly fat man dressed in red?

After all, if you believe in Santa and it turns out that you are wrong, you loose nothing. But if you are right, the benefits are too great to be ignored.

In Soviet Russia...

2011-12-16T07:40:00.000-08:00

The, 'In Soviet Russia...' jokes originated with Yakov Smirnoff, who immigrated to the United States from the USSR in 1977. He was a very popular comedian in the 1980's and continues to preform to this day in his town of Branson, Missouri.

Some examples of his jokes are, 'In America you listen to man on radio. In Soviet Russia man on radio listen to you,' and, 'In America you throw a party. In Soviet Russia party throw you.'

Today there are a lot of people on the web who, even despite the demise of the Soviet Union, continue this tradition. A modern take is, 'In Soviet Russia we had no God. Now we have one again: His name is Putin.'

A Miller Lite commercial from 1985...

Save the Pygmies!

2011-12-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

The Pygmies, known to people in the West as the short African tribe whose tallest adult is 4 and a half feet, have lived there for 60,000 years. This makes them the original inhabitants of this land: An Aboriginal people.

They live peacefully, hunting small animals, collecting honey and vegetables. But civil war and the slash and burn agriculture that destroys their habitat is pushing them deeper and deeper into the rain forest.

There are about 500,000 Pygmies and the locals view them as being subhuman. The warring Bantu tribes have no problem committing genocide against them. It's estimated that within the past eight years, 70,000 pygmies have been killed in a policy that the militia calls, 'Erase the Board.'

The terrible thing about all of this is that the Western media has remained ignorant of the Nazi-like terror being committed against these forest dwarfs.

The Bantu...

The Pygmies...

Sexy Russian Girls for Fun and Marriage

2011-12-05T08:00:00.000-08:00

Remember the 2001 movie, 'Birthday Girl' starring Nicole Kidman? You might want to watch it if you're looking toward Russia for love. It'll engrain in your mind that you have to be careful!

Russian women are known for their beauty. While many are highly educated, the transition to capitalism has left the population in turmoil. There are a lot of lonely females in the land of the bear!

If you'd like to meet Russian girls online then, instead of investing money on joining a fancy fly-by-night site, I suggest you try hunting them out through Facebook: There's a reason it's the largest social networking site in the world!

Most Russians learn English in grade school which means that many of them have a basic understanding. Be polite and remember that the way to a woman's heart isn't through taking your pants off right away! That comes later.

Young People Having Sex in Egypt...Unthinkable!

2011-11-19T10:50:00.000-08:00

Egypt which, to the film industry is the Hollywood of the Arab world, is becoming an increasingly religious conservative country. As sex education is being taken out of classrooms, the oligarchy doesn't want to admit what the population gets up to-most of what it perceives as a sin, anyway.

Enter Ahmed Khaled. A 32-year-old filmmaker from Cairo who strays into forbidden subject matter which people in the West would find pretty tame.

Khaled's movie, 'The Fifth Pound' has been banned. It's about how in a society that wants to sterilize sex and keep it hidden, young people are forced to engage in romance in public places-in the case of this movie, a bus.

While making the film Khaled had to tell people that it was about a couple on their way to a holiday. But it's definitely not x-rated and runs just under 15 minutes long. In it a man and a woman timidly try to make it to second base as the bus driver, while listening to audio of the Qur'an, watches via his rear view mirror.

One of the reasons that some Egyptians are so appalled by it is because the woman is wearing a headscarf. It's frowned upon that a female who is veiled would engage in any kind of erotic behaviour. The film has even been heckled during rare screenings with people yelling that this never happens in Egypt.

But of course it does. Bus rides often offer young people with the only opportunity to caress each other that they have.

Check out Ahmed Khaled's website here: http://www.ahmedkhaled.com/

Now for some sexy Egytian pics...

Save the New York City Sewergator!

2011-11-14T10:24:00.000-08:00

Every year people are bound to take a cute little baby alligator home with them from a holiday in Florida. What they don't seem to understand is that the adorable little thing is going to grow up.

All too often these pets are flushed down toilets as their owners realize that what once was tiny is now ballooning in size and getting hungrier. Now the transplanted orphans have to make the New York city sewer system their new home.

A unique species which shows the resilience of these creatures, the NYC sewergator turns white from lack of sunshine and subsists on a diet of rats and the odd person who lost a dare and has been made to traverse one of the dark tunnels beneath our fair city.

Sadly, there is nothing more than some people would like to see than the elimination and extinction of the NYC sewergator. A recent poll has shown that most police officers are inclined to shoot first and ask questions later when confronted with a sewergator.

There's no reason to fear this mostly harmless brute of an animal...Unless it's hungry that is. And besides, for all of the toxins that are dumped into the sewer system, they will probably mutate into a whole new species. It's possible (if not likely) that, given time, they will transform into some sort of unicorn-like creature. You wouldn't condone shooting a unicorn, would you?

Or another possibility is that sewergators may form verbal skills and an underground society like the 1980's TV show, 'Fraggle Rock...'

So if you are against killing mythical horses or puppet like creatures that sing, you are logically against killing NYC sewergators.

Ask your elected officials where they stand on the subject of protecting this proud species which has become a symbol of New York.

Captain Midnight Strikes!

2011-11-10T06:43:00.000-08:00

In 1986 a Florida electronic engineer took over HBO's airwaves while they were showing the movie, 'The Falcon and the Snowman' and viewers were left watching this...

This lasted for four and a half minutes and was a protest against the high fees of premium cable subscription. The message read:

GOODEVENING HBO
FROM CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT
$12.95/MONTH ?
NO WAY !

John R. MacDougall ended up paying a $5000 fine and serving one year probation for the stunt.

He was right, though: $12.95 is $25.00 today (by inflation). It may have been a good movie but that's too much to pay to watch, 'The Falcon and the Snowman.'

Was Robin Hood A Communist?

2011-11-04T13:41:00.000-07:00

During the red scare of the early 1950's, Mrs. Ada White who was an official with the Indiana State Textbook Commission, tried to have books which portrayed Robin Hood as a hero banned from Indiana schools. Robin Hood was no doubt a commie because he dressed up in tights and stole from the rich to give to the poor. It's a terrible fable for susceptible young minds lest they gain from it that Stalin was some heroic outlaw battling aristocrats in the English countryside.

And here are some other fictional characters to watch out for...

The Pink Panther: Pink is a pretty subversive

colour. Especially for a panther.

Batman and Robin: While Batman is obviously

an American patriot, there's something not

quite right about Robin.

That dog from, 'The Family Guy:' He

drinks too much and drives a Prius.

Eating Less Slows Aging

2011-10-12T07:57:00.000-07:00

Want to Live Forever? Stop Eating!

Scientists have proven what was long suspected: If you want to live longer than you should eat less. Think of it as running an engine more efficiently: At the end of the day there's less wear and tear.

The Immortal Count de Sainte-Germaine...

It's been reported that in the 18th century there was a man by the name of Count de Sainte-Germaine. There is much speculation as to who Sainte-Germaine was: A German prince or possibly Francis Bacon after having faked his own death to avoid creditors.

He was a skilled orator, musician, and painter; the life of every party. And he never aged, partying from one century to the next. People who witnessed (and documented) his existence included: Voltaire, Franz Mesmer, and Giacomo Casanova.

What was his secret? While he may have been very popular at parties, no one ever saw him eat! Maybe Sainte-Germaine had discovered something we are only realizing today!

While the case of the Count's extraordinary longevity may have been corrupted by time and hearsay, caloric restriction has been proven to work in everything from mice to monkeys.

So will you switch to a tofu burger instead of steak; a black coffee instead of a cola; a salad instead of an all you can eat buffet, if you know that it will extend your life by a few years?

Whatever Happened to McDonald's Arch Deluxe?

2011-09-26T09:27:00.000-07:00

In 1996 McDonald's came out with a more mature burger directed at the adult consumer. It was a quarter pounder with peppery bacon and a mustard/mayo sauce. Pretty unique tasting, it was heavily marketed.

After a $100 million ad campaign which often featured children complaining that they didn't like the new burger or that it doesn't come with any kind of toy, sales were still slow. While it tasted good, consumers were put off by the high price. And, costing 32 cents more than a Big Mac, it also had the same number of grams of fat in it.

The Arch Deluxe was soon discontinued. However, if you're a die hard fan who's been missing it after all these years, it's still available...In France: Where it's known as the, 'Royal Deluxe.'

The Arch Deluxe proved that a big corporation's spending on market research and a huge ad campaign didn't necessarily translate into sales. While an ageing population might appreciate being catered to by a fast food chain, this has become one of the biggest commercial failures of all time. Even the Golden Arches can make a few mistakes, sometimes.

Some Other Failed McDonald's Products...

1963: The Hula Burger. It's a cheeseburger but instead of having had a meat paddy it had a piece of pineapple fried in butter! This was intended for Catholics who couldn't eat meat on Friday's. It also meant that McDonald's may be the first fast food chain to have come out with a veggie burger. This product flopped because people expected meat from McDonald's. The Hula Burger was the precursor for the Fillet-O-Fish.

Veggie Burger: A few years ago most McDonald's where I live had a bland Veggie Burger which few people bought. It didn't taste like the fake similar to other veggie patties. You could tell that it was really some ground up beans and corn. The last I remember it was in 2008

Early to Mid-1990's: The McPizza. McDonald's wanted a share of the pizza market. While some people enjoyed it, many found it bland. Most who headed for McD's wanted a burger and some fries. The Pizza took too long to make.

Do Women Prefer Smooth Men?

2011-09-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

Since the days of Burt Reynolds being a box office draw 30 years ago, more and more women seem to prefer smoother, less hairy, men. Call it aesthetics or call it moving ahead from our evolutionary past of caveman-like back hair: Women like men bare.

Everybody has body hair: It's just that with some people you have to look a lot closer than with others. The lucky news is that people aren't as hairy as most mammals.

Body hair is useless except for the hair on the tops of our heads: Aside from looking good it's there to prevent our scalps from getting sunburned.

However, there is a genetic abnormality called, 'Hypertrichosis,' which, while rare, makes a person resemble a werewolf.

Swimmers often shave all of their hair as it has been found to reduce friction and that little bit of extra speed may be all that is needed to win a medal.

If you want to go hairless, there are a number of different options. If you decide to shave try using witch hazel afterwards. You'll find that it prevents infection and those red bumps that look like a heat rash much more effectively than more expensive products.

Another method that you could use is hot wax. While this has the benefit of taking the hair out at the root, it can also be painful!

A more permanent solution is electrolysis or laser hair removal. While this is a more expensive solution, you should do your research and find a qualified practitioner: There can be risks and you won't want your newly smoothed chest to be scarred.

Whether you prefer the smooth look or not it's always important to remember that it's what's inside that counts!

What Is Fordlandia?

2011-09-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

In the 1920's, as the automotive industry began to boom, the price of rubber used in car tires was sky high. Back then the sap from a rubber tree was needed to make tires and most of it came from eastern Asia. Henry Ford knew that he could break the rubber monopoly by growing his own. He purchased 25,000 square kilometers in Brazil for that purpose.

Where rainforest jungle once stood, suddenly sprung up a very American-looking community. It was complete with shops, restaurants, and tree-lined residential streets. Henry Ford, a strict non-drinker, also brought prohibition to Fordlandia. Soon, outside of the limits of this mini-America, houses of ill-repute were established where workers could get drunk and find a prostitute.

The person that Ford had paid to find him this piece of land, turned out to be the landowner himself! So somebody did make a profit on the endeavor! For farming it was too hilly and rocky.

Ford also did not use any botanists to oversee the growing of the crop. Instead he relied on his own engineers and they planted them too close together where they became easy targets for insects and blight. Ford would try relocating the town to a more suitable place but by the 1940's synthetic rubber had been invented.

Now all that remains of Fordlandia is a ghost town...

Child Exploitation? Brooke Shields

2011-09-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

Having already appeared completely nude at the age of 12 in the 1978 movie, 'Pretty Baby', by 1980 Brook Shields was on the cover of, 'Vogue.' Age: 14...

Further pushing the envelope when it came to showing 15-year-old Brook Shield's as a sex symbol were the Calvin Klein commercials that first appeared in 1980...

Also in 1980 cinema goers saw a lot more of Brooke Shields as she starred with Christopher Atkins in, 'The Blue Lagoon,' which was released to mixed reviews. It ended up being a box office success: Despite the R-rating, it was the ninth biggest hit of the year...

Swallowing a Tape Worm to Lose Weight?

2011-09-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

This is a pretty irksome urban legend. It's based on an idea that, in a society obsessed with being thin, some people may knowingly swallow a tape worm in order to keep the pounds off. So instead of eating for one, a lot of those calories will go to hosting the parasite in their gut.

Is there some truth in this? Has anybody ever done it?

Maria Callas was one of the greatest opera singers of the 20th century. As with the stereotype of operatic songbirds, she was a pretty large woman: At almost 5'9" she weighed about 200lbs. While not morbidly obese, she felt that her size was getting in the way of her career. In 1953 she lost 80Ibs and was now very, very pretty...

Suddenly rumours swept America that Callas had thinned down by swallowing a tapeworm. It is, infact, likely that she got the parasite from one of her favourite meals: Raw beef known as, 'steak tartare.'

I think one of the shocking things about all of this is that people eat raw meat!

Callas may have unknowingly used this as a diet method but, unfortunately, it has been done before...

Just please don't try worms to loose weight! It certainly isn't recommended by any health professionals. While a person with this parasite may loose some pounds, they'll more likely widdle away than look good as the worm steals important nutrients from the body. Also carrying something around like that in your bowels can be excruciatingly painful. And besides, you'd never loose that much weight anyway because the worm will be gaining it inside of you. This is how big they grow...

Is it Raining Frogs or Fish?

2011-08-30T07:19:00.000-07:00

At the end of the 1999 film, 'Magnolia' it starts to rain-not water, though, but frogs. It's an unusual ending for this unusual but critically acclaimed movie. And, interestingly, we're subconsciously led to this surprise conclusion. The Bible passage Exodus 8:12 states that, "...If thou refuse to let them go I will smite all thy borders with frogs," and this and the numbers '8:12' are shown many times throughout the 188 minute run time.

Magnolia is a movie filled with urban legends: From the scuba diver that is dropped onto a tree from a forest firefighting tanker plane that had scooped him out of the water, to a suicide victim whose shot as he jumps off of a building, somehow becoming an accomplice in his own murder. Oddly, there's more truth in the frog rain than the other might-have-happened's that the audience is presented with.

So, has it ever rained frogs? Yes. And there have been torrential downpours of other things, too. From the expected airplane parts, to stones, various animals, and even money-just to name a few. Frogs and fish falling from the sky remain the most common of these rare occurrences.

Recently...

-In Rakoczifalva, Hungary, on the 18th to the 20th of June 2010, it rained frogs.

-In Lajamanu, Australia, on on February 25th 2010, it rained fish.

-In Ishikawa Prefecture, Japan, on and off in June 2009, it rained frogs.

Why?

Most people believe that there is a simple natural explanation for this strange rain. The popular idea is that waterspouts (a whirlwind made up of and occurring over water) are to blame. However, while this seems believable, nobody has ever witnessed a waterspout picking up lifeforms and dumping them on land.

The thing about the frog rain in Magnolia is, however, that when it does rain frogs they are accompanied with a lot of water (and sometimes ice). Certainly more than what was depicted in the film. But if you want to see one strange movie with an amazing performance by Tom Cruise, that delves into some bizarre topics (aside from Cruise), check this one out.

Quebec Cuisine: Poutine

2011-08-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

Poutine was invented in the late 1950's when someone got the idea that fries, cheese, and gravy would go well together. Some Quebecois who are into fine cuisine will frown upon it becoming a food that Quebec is now known for.

Like going to Ireland for a real Guinness draught, if you're a true connoisseur of poutine, you'll have to make the pilgrimage to Quebec to have the most authentic taste of it.

To make poutine at home bake some fries, put fresh cheese curds over top of them, and pour hot gravy on top. There are a lot of variations of this. Sometimes I use grated cheddar cheese and a pepper sauce. Mozzarella works, too. Other people may add ground beef. I've even heard of people using tomato sauce instead of gravy.

If you've never had poutine before, you're in for a treat!

How do you Spell, 'Gaddafi?

2011-08-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

He was the world's longest serving non-royal leader, a despot who's financed terrorism around the globe, a shady figure who has shown eccentric behaviour causing many to question his sanity, and he's currently battling to try desperately to regain power because his very life now depends on it...But nobody knows how to spell his name!

He may also believe himself to be Prince.

Current variations are...

NBC calls him, 'Moammar Gadhafi.' The New York Post goes with, 'Moamar Khadafy.' Still CBS chooses, 'Muammar Qaddafi.' Around the world he is, 'Gadhafi,' in Canada (CBC) and Gadaffi in Russia (Pravda). The Israelis go with, ' Gadhafi' (Haaretz) and the Germans with, 'Gadaffi' (Arzte Zeitung). There are innumerable ways to spell the dictator's name. Let's go with Al Jazeera who spells it, 'Gaddafi.'

And he was only a Colonel!

To add even more confusion: Most dictators would have promoted themselves to the rank of general a long time ago. Gaddafi remained a lowly colonel. His reason for this is, despite being a mad power-zealot with apparent concubine female bodyguards, he wants to present people with the idea that he was not the leader of his revolution.

There is not one uniform spelling for his name simply because Arabic does not translate into English easily. Instead the translation has to do with what his name sounds like and what English letters could be used to describe that sound, hence the name either starts with a, 'G' or a, 'Q' or sometimes even with a, 'K.'

So what's the correct spelling?

Since Al-Jazeera and Wikipedia spell it, 'Gaddafi' I would have to say that that is the current standard.

The Falcon and the Snowman

2011-08-13T10:48:00.000-07:00

1985's, 'The Falcon and the Snowman' was a great Cold War film. The true story of Christopher Boyce (played by Timothy Hutton) and Daulton Lee (Sean Penn) who sold secrets to the Soviets when they were young men.

The acting is incredible and you get to see Sean Penn in the role he plays best: An ultimate scuzzball. You'll feel sorry for Hutton's character who is driven to espionage not for financial gain but, for ideological reasons.

The movie gets its name from the fact that Boyce was into falcons and the sport of falconry (hunting using this bird), while Lee was into cocaine.

The two are in over their heads and you'll be on the edge of your seat until they are eventually dealt with by U.S. authorities.

David Bowie and the Pat Metheny Group did the song, 'This is Not America' for the movie...

COMMIE ON THE RUN...

Christopher Boyce, despite being a genius, was a college dropout. His father was an FBI agent and, at the age of 21, he found easy employment with a defense contractor. Discovering that America was meddling in the affairs of its allies, he started selling secrets to the Soviets and became one of their most important American spies. In January 1977 he was arrested. Exactly three years later he escaped and spent 18 months on the run. Under the alias, 'Anthony Edward Lester' he robbed 17 banks and began to teach himself how to fly a plane. He hoped to make it to the Soviet Union and join their air force but, he was eventually captured in Seattle.

Hot Pics of College Women!

2011-08-12T07:16:00.000-07:00

Dress like this

College is a great place to socialize and find a date. But if you're having problems meeting your significant other, try these tips:

-Dress well: A lady notices a man who looks like he does his own clothes shopping.

-If your still wearing the same body spray that everyone else wore in high school, try something else. Smelling good but different turns a woman on. If your wearing the same cologne that her abusive ex-boyfriend wore, expect to get shot down!

-If you still can't find a date and you want to hit the bars: Don't! That's what every loveless guy is doing. Instead, try something different: Go out for breakfast and converse with women there.

All photos found on Tumblr.

Whatever Happened to the Chihuahua from the Taco Bell Commercial?

2011-08-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

He's dead.

Some rumours were that Taco Bell stopped using the dog as a mascot in 2000 because it had died-this was untrue. There were a total of three chihuahuas that played the role. Most of the time, however, it was the one named, 'Gidget,' that you saw in all of those ads.

The year was 1998. Bill Clinton was playing saxophone in the White House while the Republicans were trying to impeach him over the whole Monica Lewinsky thing, people were crying to the chart topper, 'My Heart Will Go On,' by Celine Dion, and everyone in America who owned a TV became very familiar with a tiny taco promoting hound.

Gidget, who often wore a sombrero, spoke with a Mexican accent. His cuteness led him to become a pop icon. There is speculation that his cancellation was the result of political correctness as some Latin Americans didn't like his depiction. However, while Gidget was an immensely popular marketing ploy, Taco Bell did not see any increase in sales and ended the campaign in 2000.

The little advertising dynamo died of a stroke on July 21, 2009. He was 15.

Commercial advertising is often a funny endeavor as established brands, with a lot of money to spend, try to gain even more market recognition. Many mascots they invent aren't as renowned as the taco-loving chihuahua. Here's a list from Wikipedia: See if you recognize any...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mascots#Formerly_used_mascots

I Was a Communist for the FBI!

2011-08-09T09:16:00.000-07:00

The life of a spy is seldom rewarding. Deceiving everyone you know to infiltrate the enemy's organization will tear apart families and friendships. Such is the case with Matt Cvetic.

A patriotic American, he was too short to be an enlisted man during World War 2. Seeing that he had desperately wanted to serve and realizing that his Slavic heritage would be an asset, the FBI approached him wanting a man on their side to infiltrate the whole U.S. communist network. Cvetic soon became a trusted and loyal comrade to the red cause. And he suddenly found his life in constant danger as his new associates would do everything to test those loyalties.

During the House Committee on Un-American Activities, Cvetic was finally released from his life of espionage imposed social exile. He testified, naming names, and finally received the accolades that he deserved. His new fame led to a series in the Saturday Evening Post, which led to a radio serial, which led to a feature length film.

Unfortunately this new fame didn't last long. The strains of not being able to tell his own family the truth for all of those years, led to a distraught wife who eventually divorced him. He died a broken man in 1962.

You can listen to episodes of the radio show here: http://www.otrfan.com/otr/series/c4fbi.html

Swedish Chef's Nuclear Meltdown Nightmare?

2011-08-05T07:31:00.000-07:00

31-year-old Richard Handl was arrested by Swedish police as he was trying to split atoms the shake 'n bake way. Having collected radioactive elements like radium, americium and uranium he did much of his experimentations on the stove top. Here is his blog where he writes about trying to build a reactor in his apartment: http://richardsreactor.blogspot.com/ However he wondered whether what he was doing may be considered illegal so he wrote to the Radiation Authority who alerted the police.

In this guy's defense I'd have to ask who's to say that he isn't a young J. Robert Oppenheimer? Sweden may have gotten the bomb and an arms race with Finland would have ensued leading one of them to build cars with fins and then travel to the moon. It's called progress.

When the End Times are Near Head for France!

2011-08-03T09:28:00.000-07:00

Fear of Armageddon is on the rise so people are fleeing to France to wait out the end times...

Know thy enemy!

The Mayan calendar ends on December 21, 2012 so, logically, the world will no doubt end on the same date. If this wasn't bad news enough I'm still reeling from the whole Y2K thing when everything from computers to toaster ovens turned on us and tried to take over the world all because they couldn't comprehend the date changing from 1999 to 2000.

France is the only safe place for people fearing the coming death-storm. A few of us Illuminati understand that aliens have intervened to give our leaders and scientists technological breakthroughs throughout the ages. So following the idea that the rest of the world had running water and toilets when France got theirs in 1988, we can see that our alien overlords seem completely ignorant of them.

But, apparently, when fire and brimstone destroy us from above somehow next December it's not all of France that will be spared, but only a small part: The village of Bugarach which is home to some 200 people. It's located in the southwest, east of the Pyrenees.

Ten years ago a man who lived in this idyllic locale wrote a post about all of his alien encounters and how the tallest mountain in the area is no doubt a cover for a huge underground UFO base because he heard humming coming from it. Since then this message of subterranean space ships has gone viral and now has a lot of believers. So many that the mayor of Bugarach is threatening to call in the military if anymore pilgrims show up.

Some people predict that the aliens will protect the town from the impending cataclysm; others hope to hitch a ride as the saucers leave the doomed earth.

And that's what you get for being an earthling: Your planet happens to be slated for total destruction while meanwhile there are aliens living it up in a mountain in France. If the universe was fair then the extraterrestrials' home planet would have been doomed a long time ago. But it wasn't. And I'll tell you why: It's because I bet the aliens never had Mayans or Nostradamus damning them before anyone even invented a light bulb.

In What Movie Does Charlie Chaplin Play Hitler?

2011-07-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

The Great Dictator (1940)

One of the greatest satires of the 20th century, the greatest stage and screen comedian, Charlie Chaplin, lampoons Adolf Hitler in, 'The Great Dictator,' during the onset of World War 2.

It's interesting to note that while Chaplin and Hitler looked a lot alike thanks largely to their toothbrush moustaches, they were also born just four days apart in April of 1889. For what the two shared in astrology, they would become vastly different people.

Charlie Chaplin became a comic actor mastering slapstick and mime, a film director, and an accomplished composer even though he couldn't read musical notes. And as his career progressed, Chaplin would also become politically outspoken and liberal. From the character that he was most famous for, 'The Tramp,' who was a gentlemanly but poor vagrant who outwitted authority figures, to films like, 'Modern Times,' Chaplin sympathised with the poor struggling masses.

In, 'The Great Dictator,' he plays Adenoid Hynkel (and also a second character who is an unnamed barber)...

In one of the most famous scenes, he is seen dancing with a globe making fun of his counterpart's quest for military dominance. Nobody knew what would happen when the film came out. At the time Nazi forces were storming across France and the United States remained neutral. Having become famous for his silent films, 'The Great Dictator,' would now become Chaplin's largest commercial success...

It's alleged that Hitler watched the movie twice, alone in his screening room. Chaplin said that he would have given anything to know his reaction to it but no review from the fascist dictator was ever forthcoming.

Drew Barrymore: Little Girl Lost/Found

2011-07-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

Drew Barrymore comes from an illustrious Hollywood family. She made her film debut in 1980 in the movie, 'Altered States,' but became one of the most famous child actresses of the 1980's playing Gertie, the younger sister in, 'E.T.'

E.T. was released on June 11, 1982 and quickly surpassed Star Wars to become the most successful science fiction movie of all time...

Drew Barrymore had been acting in commercials since a baby before her big screen debut. Here she is at the age of 4...

Barrymore was 14 and 15 when she wrote her autobiography, 'Little Girl Lost.' By then she had become a joke: Another washed up former child star. At nine she had started drinking, at ten she was into marijuana, and at twelve she was snorting cocaine. Hell-bent on a destruction path, self-medicating her depression and trying to keep up with an older crowd, she entered rehab and began to turn her life around.

Today she is one of the few openly bisexual actresses in Hollywood and will, in 2012, be in a romantic comedy called, 'Everybody Loves Whales.'

Photos from: http://missdrewbarrymore.tumblr.com/

Quacks and Snake Oil Salesmen of the Past

2011-07-26T07:44:00.000-07:00

Did you know that back in the days of the Wild West, mercury could cure venereal diseases, smoking a cigar was a popular remedy for tuberculosis, and heroin would solve almost anything else that was wrong with you?

Before regulation of the pharmaceutical industry, many people got rich peddling what was popularly known as, 'snake oil.' They'd travel from town to town and sermonize the health benefits of the tonic they had invented. Magic in a bottle: Some promised good looks and others near immortality. If the customer was lucky he didn't get poison. If he was even luckier he got stoned from the contents of the flask.

The Electric Dr. Graham

Dr. James Graham was born in England in 1745. He lived in Philadelphia for a time and was intrigued by Benjamin Franklin's experimentation with electricity. Returning to Europe he opened a, 'Temple of Health.' There he treated people with things like music therapy in a beautiful, ornate setting. He had also learned that electricity was good for you. He designed many apparatus to deliver electrical shocks to his patients, thereby prolonging there lives. He guaranteed that they would get at least 100 years of life in good health through these methods. Graham died before the age of 50 so he wasn't around to hear of any complaints.

One invention that he was renowned for was a really nice bed. Large and comfy, it had an electrified head board. Couples would spend a lot of money to engage in the art of procreation in it while gentle music played. However, people are fickle and constantly need new forms of entertainment: They soon lost interest in paying exuberant sums to do what they could do at home for free.

Graham's next foray into preventative medicine was to bury people up to their necks in mud. Strangely, this did not catch on. Graham died in poverty.

Dr. Ebeneezer Sibly Cures Death

Born in 1751, Ebeneezer dabbled in medicine and the occult. He invented, 'Reanimating Solar Tincture' and claimed that it could restore life to the recently deceased. Anyone who expired from drownings, blows to the head, and even assassinations, needed the potion to be quickly dumped down their hatch so that they'd wake up. Sibly believed in the principle made popular in the 1987 movie, 'The Princess Bride:' There was mostly dead or all dead. He didn't give refunds because if it didn't work the subject was obviously all dead.

As newspapers gained in popularity, Sibly pushed the product through advertising. After his own death (in around 1900) the claims that it could reawaken the deceased were dropped. It was probably surmised that it had failed to wake up it's creator and before anyone pointed this out the slogans were changed to how it restored many who were near the point of death. Reanimating Solar Tincture went on to be sold for another 70 or so years.

William Radam: From Insect Repellent to Curing All Disease

William Radam owned a seed, feed, and gardening store in Austin, Texas, in the 1880's. He came down with malaria and took countless meds to get better. On recovering, he now found that he suffered from rheumatism and then his two children died. His one love was gardening and, meanwhile, medical science was beginning to discover the role of bacteria in disease. He realized that the various illnesses that people had were caused by things similar to the insects that attacked his plants. He experimented around and came up with his, 'Microbe Killer.'

After taking it for six months he made a miraculous recovery. Afraid that he could get done for manslaughter if he sold it as a medicine and people died taking it, he was not eager to mass market it right away. However, soon word spread and people began to visit from far and wide to get the cure. A while later Radam was living it up in New York while 17 factories churned out his super potion.

Some people weren't impressed by how many of the Fortune 500 were little more that snake oil peddlers. Dr. R.G. Eccles called Radam the worst quack of this or any other age. The two spent years in and out of court suing each other for defamation of character.

When analysed it was found that the miracle cure was mostly water with just a dab of acid and a hint of red wine. But Radam's fortune was secure as the public payed close attention to advertising and did not read medical journals.

Radam died in 1902 and Microbe Killer continued to be sold around the world for another 10 years. Eventually U.S. courts deemed it an illegal substance and seized and destroyed shipments of it.

Today, with the growth of the internet, a new army of quacks is promising health and vigour in exchange for your wealth. Be warned of them at this website! http://www.quackwatch.com/

Made for TV Movies of the 1980s: Goliath Awaits

2011-07-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

The 1980's were an exciting time for made for TV movies. With all of the hype that television networks put into some of these, many people would tune in and, a lot of the time, at least be entertained.

In November of 1981 viewers watched, 'Goliath Awaits.' It was a two-part film about an ocean liner that sank but, instead of drowning, most of the inside of the ship became an air pocket and survivors formed a utopian, undersea society.

The famous seen in this movie takes place near the beginning when Mark Harmon, a deep sea diver, is investigating the wreck. Scraping dirt and sediment from the hull, drapes suddenly open and Mark is stunned to see a beautiful woman inside.

Mark Harmon: Widely accepted by

many as being the greatest actor
who ever lived.

Many people who lived in the 1980's knew that Mark Harmon, a mainstay of 80's made for TV movies, is the greatest actor that ever lived. And his acting here is superb. Even though that Mark is in a scuba suit, you can tell that he is shocked.

This film could hold your attention span. It kept people entertained in 1981. However, the implausibility soon set in as many began to realize that a Titanic-like ship probably wouldn't have any survivors forty years after sinking.

If you want to see this film, you're going to have to buy it used. And it was only ever put on VHS and laser disc. Get out that old VCR. I've forgotten what a laser disc looks like, though.

Some Like it Not!

2011-07-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that not everybody enjoys sex. When Alfred Kinsey came up with the, 'Kinsey Scale,' rating people from 0 to 6 based on the degree of their sexual orientation, he also included an, 'X,' for those who had no inclination either way.

In the puritanical past, women were taught that it certainly wasn't proper for them to prefer it. They were supposed to not enjoy it and, instead, engage in it for, 'the good of King and country.' Sexuality was supposed to be for reproductive purposes only. As people began to take their collective heads out of the sand, it was realized that almost everybody was sexual. Almost.

1980's sitcom, 'Cheers.' Is Dr. Lilith Crane asexual?

While homosexuality was often illegal throughout history, there were no laws to discriminate against those who had no sex drive.

But where do asexual people congregate for non-romantic fellowship? That has been a problem solved with the birth of social networking. Founded in 2001, AVEN was a site created to help foster the acceptance of those who weren't getting any and didn't want any. From discussion on its servers ten years ago, it has now grown into the largest asexual community.

Visit Aven...

http://www.asexuality.org/home/

America's Favourite Stripper

2011-07-21T07:50:00.000-07:00

Gypsy Rose Lee

Born Rose Louise Hovick in 1911, her younger sister June seemed to have all of the beauty and talent. As their unscrupulous mother tried to make money through vaudeville acts, Rose would play second fiddle to her sister who was the breadwinner in the family. But vaudeville was in decline because of the increasing popularity of motion pictures. While Rose had been an average looking child she soon grew into a tall, shapely woman. After the younger sister left, marrying, Rose and her mother formed the, 'Hollywood Blondes' with 6 teen aged girls. She would stand out as the only brunette on stage. They preformed at their first burlesque house in Kansas City.

Preforming strip shows, Rose first aroused attention when her dress accidentally fell off exposing herself. Trying to cover up, the audience showered her with applause and laughter. She discovered humour and it would become an important part of her act...

Gypsy would go on to become an author, actress, and playwright. By the 1960's she hosted a morning TV talk show and was a regular on Hollywood Squares. She died of cancer in 1970.

Nutmeg: The New Cheap and Legal High?

2011-07-20T08:05:00.000-07:00

In the always widening search to find a cheaper high, people are now doing Nutmeg.

"Hey you kids! You bunch of Nutmeg fiends! Get off my lawn!"

It is not recommended that you do Nutmeg. While experiences may vary, you'll find no euphoric feelings or zany hallucinogenic effects from this condiment.

Most people know that Nutmeg is a herb in their Mom's spice rack that she seldom uses. Do you know why? Because it's pure poison: That's why.

People who take more than a tablespoon of Nutmeg have been known to die.

Other side effects include stomach aches, vomiting, excruciating pain, dizziness, and heart palpitations. The likelihood is that you will feel like you're going to die. Plus, another side effect is that you probably will go to Hell because I have it on good authority that God hates druggies and, even though Nutmeg is legal, He'll probably frown upon the whole thing.

"Hey you kids! If you want to get high why don't you go to church and get high off Jesus. Do Nutmeg and you're headed straight to Hell! Now get off my lawn!

People don't experience any mellow feelings from doing Nutmeg like when they do pot. Why, America should probably give up on its war on cannabis and turn to defeating the greater menace: Nutmeg.

There is one good thing that Nutmeg can be used for, though. A 16th century monk advised men to carry a vial of nutmeg with them and rub it on their penis before engaging in intercourse as it apparently works the same way as modern day Viagra.

"I hate you kids because you're always on my lawn. If you're gonna go kill yourself with Nutmeg don't come cryin' to me. Call the Kid's Suicide Helpline or something!

The Soviet Serial Killer

2011-07-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

The Soviet Union was a police state. They did not eagerly share crime statistics with the West. One of the tenants of Marxism is that illegal activities is something that is associated with a capitalist society. They widely reported how bad things were in the U.S., but usually remained silent about their own turf. Of course it is factual that rape and robbery occurred back in the good old USSR.

Serial Killers are seen as a largely American phenomenon. Often a seemingly normal and even well-to-do male commits deplorable acts, murdering many because of his own sexual depravity. Ted Bundy was one of these cases. He had a degree in psychology, worked for the Republican Party in Washington State, and was on good terms with the Governor. Later he confessed to killing 30 women.

The FBI estimates that 85% of ruthless multiple killers live in the USA and that about 50 unknown ones are stalking our streets and parks at this very moment. But you wouldn't expect one of the worst mass murderers and sexual deviants to have existed in a country where you wouldn't be able to get away with looking at a statue of Lenin funny. Andrei Chikatilo was a monster who murdered women and children all over Russia and the Ukraine. And all of this happened before the fall of communism.

A former school teacher who, like Bundy, was involved in politics, nobody suspected him. When the bodies of his victims turned up, police rounded up the types of people that they would have liked to believe had committed the crimes: Those with mental deficiency's, homosexuals, and people suspected of pedophilia were taken into custody and often tortured. Between 1978 until 1990 Chikatilo kept killing and police were baffled. He was eventually convicted for the murders of 53 people but he, himself, claimed many more.

He had been arrested as a suspect in 1983. In his possession were many questionable things such as vaseline, a rope, and a knife. They compared his blood to the blood type found at the scenes of some of the murders. The killer was supposed to have AB blood and his turned out to be A. In an incredibly unlucky twist Chikatilo had a rare condition where his blood and semen didn't match. So he was let go and went back to his ways.

The ineptitude of Soviet law enforcement certainly began to show as bodies piled up. They needed a more American method to catch the killer and, for the first time in Soviet history, consulted a psychiatrist to do a profile to lead police to the type of person that they were looking for. Also Anatoly Slivko, who had been condemned for killing 7 boys in 'hanging experiments,' helped as investigators delved into forensic analysis.

By 1990, with a lot of surveillance from hundreds of officers, police got their man. Chikatilo was eventually executed with a gunshot to the back of his head in 1994. And the whole experience showed us that American law enforcement is a whole lot more efficient at getting their man than a communist country's.

The Mad Dog of the Middle East

2011-07-18T08:18:00.000-07:00

Throughout the 1980's Muammar el Qaddafi financed terrorism around the world. Ronald Reagen called him the, 'Mad Dog of the Middle East.'

In 1986 members of the gang 'Al-Rakr' were arrested as Qaddafi had been financing them to start a race war against whites in America. Meanwhile members of the IRA were trained in Libya to attack British civilians. He later went so far as to align himself with the Serbs against Kosovo's own Muslims.

On April 5, 1986 a bomb exploded in a Berlin night club. 200 people were injured among them 63 American soldiers, one of whom died. President Reagen would launch, 'Operation El Dorado Canyon.' A-6's from U.S. carriers and F-111's from air bases in the U.K. took off in an attack of precision bombing against Libya.

Unfortunately, Qaddafi, who had been warned that unknown aircraft were heading south, escaped while, possibly, a total of 60 others were killed.

WHO WARNED QADDAFI?

It has long been believed that Malta's Prime Minister, Karmenu Mifsud Bonnici, called to warn him that his country's air defenses had detected aircraft heading for Tripoli. However, it is also believed by many that the Prime Minister of Italy, Bettino Craxi, was the one that tipped him off.

Craxi had long sought diplomacy when dealing with the Libyans, fearing that his citizens might experience terrorist attacks. And he had already come to blows with the Reagen administration when he refused to extradite the hijackers of the cruise ship Achille Lauro.

Men Who Self-Satisfy Themselves Aren't Doing Anything Wrong!

2011-07-15T09:59:00.000-07:00

Masturbation is A-OK!

Recently I read a an article on, 'How to Quit Masturbation:' http://hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Quit-Masturbation

Masturbating is like the original video game! Worldwide it's more popular then any title put out on Playstation or X-Box. So take that LittleBigPlanet!

It's healthier, too: Doing it vigourously can be a form of calisthenics...

Today it is widely understood that there is nothing wrong with self-pleasuring yourself (as long as you don't do it in a bus or at the library).

This wasn't always the case! In the past it was thought to be the cause of all sorts of terrible maladies, eventually leading to insanity. But that was in a time when they gave you cocaine for a toothache and a cigar to cure tuberculosis.

As a result of the stigma, few men ever admitted to doing it, leading others to get the impression that if they did do it themselves, they were sickly and immoral.

Poet Walt Whitman admitted doing it. And probably

enjoyed doing it several thousand times.

Walt Whitman's Poetry...
http://www.princeton.edu/~batke/logr/log_026.html

The Draconian Past...

From 1856 to 1932 the U.S. Patent Office issued 33 patents for devices to prevent males from touching themselves. Some of these designs looked medieval and were cruel in their application...

Until recently you could still by penis rings with spikes in them to quell any nighttime erections.

Enter Alfred Kinsey...

Kinsey, a biologist, founded the Institute for Sex Research in 1947. He was someone who took many taboos and put them into the public forum. Filming around 1000 men as they engaged in self-pleasure, he may have been a bit odd, too. You could probably understand the basics after watching 2 to 3 guys do it.

Nonetheless, by 1966 Masters and Johnson added bolster to Kinsey's research by doing even more research and then concluding that everybody does it. You aren't alone!

1930s...

All of these men are walking around saying, "I don't masturbate!"

and, "No! You? Plus I blame the mess we're in on Calvin Coolidge.

I bet he strokes himself all the time!"

Today...

All of these men admit that they masturbate and talk about it all the time.

Finding and Proving Witchcraft

2011-07-14T09:29:00.000-07:00

Even in Roman times people feared witches. It's not surprising because it was common knowledge that they had the ability to fly around at night and make men impotent and eat children.

In his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul states that, '...the sacrifices of pagans are offered to demons, not to God, and I do not want you to be participants with demons.' (10:20). In Deuteronomy 18:10-11 it says, 'Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.' And in Exodus 22:18 it goes so far to say this simple sentence: 'Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.'

Clearly the Bible shows us that the Lord God is very fervent about His witch killing policies. And, in the Middle Ages, his command was put into full effect...

Sometimes cooler heads prevailed. Charlemagne did not believe in witchcraft and even went so far as to impose the death penalty on anyone who accused and burned a witch. But what did Charlemagne know, anyway? All he did was save the Holy Roman Empire.

Plague, bad crops, and even a loss of one's own virility could all be blamed on witches.

King James the 1rst was so smart that he did believe in witchcraft. He knew that as God's chosen monarch he was all that stood between the forces of good and Satan taking over the British Isles. Witches wanted to have him dead because, without an inbred unelected despotic ruler, all kinds of calamity would break out.

When he was getting married to Anne of Denmark, the couple encountered terrible storms at sea. James knew that the witches were at it again.

So you see: There's a cause and effect. Severe weather threatens the life of the King. How do you explain something like that if it weren't for people in line with Satan trying to kill him with magical powers?

Justice prevailed at the North Berwick witch trials and out of all of the people convicted and sent to their deaths, some had been found guilty of sending storms out against the royal ship.

All is saved...
By the 1640's England had it's own self-appointed, 'Witch Finder General.' Mathew Hopkins was a Christian so pious and cunning that he could just smell a witch. When there was a mysterious illness affecting a respected tailor's wife , he knew exactly who to blame: An 80-year-old toothless woman with one leg named Elizbeth Clarke. After obtaing a confession from the old spinster, Hopkins began a distinguished career ending the lives of those who were in league with the Devil. From 1645 to 1647 more people were put to death for witchcraft then in the previous 100 years.

If Mathew Hopkins were
alive today he'd
wear a suit like this.

This is how Hopkin's obtained his confessions...

You have a Witch if they fail these tests...
Witch Pricking: If you stab the offender with a needle and they do not bleed, then you have a witch.

Watching and Walking: The suspect would sit on a chair in the middle of an empty room, kept awake for days. If they got tired they'd be made to walk around the circumference of the room. It was important not to let them sleep and a confession could be obtained through this method after 3 or 4 days.

Witch Swimming: Another popular method to establish guilt. It was scientifically known that water was good and thus from God. The defendant was thrown into water and if they floated they were being rejected by it and therefore a witch. If they sank they were innocent but, often drowned: It didn't matter because they were with God now.

Today the practise of witch hunting has fallen out of favour. Except in...

Countries like Saudi Arabia where witchcraft is still a capital offence. Is it possible that the only thing keeping Satan's minions from overrunning the earth is the Saudi judicial system?

Moonlighting

2011-07-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

Did Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd really ever even like each other???

A TV show as great as, 'Moonlighting,' cannot be described in a simple blog post. We need a whole separate website to discussing how great the show was. Starring Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd, it was not just an episodic detective drama: It was also part comedy, part musical...Often the cast would break out of scene and converse with the audience, many times complaining about, 'the network.' This broke many rules.

It also parodied real life-probably unintentionally. Cybil Shepherd's character Maddie Haze was a former model with declining prospects. Bruce Willis was an unknown and a rising star. There characters were scripted to argue, be enemies, and fall in love. They did this in real life, too. They also did not remain friends. Fifteen years later Willis said, in reference to his former co-star, she's, 'still going on about Moonlighting.'

But, in Cybil Shepherd's defence, everyone would still be going on about Moonlighting if they only saw it. The show suffered from a fickle audience but became a cult classic. (The definition of, 'Cult Classic,' is that nobody paid much attention to it when it was out and then later realized that it was great after five years off the air).

And Al Jarreau's song also became a hit...

God Bless the Bikini!

2011-07-12T13:36:00.000-07:00

A bikini is a small, revealing two piece bathing suit worn by women...

And some men...

The modern bikini was invented by Louis Reard in 1946.

Before him I suppose women had to go to the beach fully dressed or they wore nothing at all.

The bikini is named after Bikini Atoll, in the Micronesian Islands, where atomic tests took place the same year the swim wear was released.

Photos from: http://www.tumblr.com/

Karl Marx and the World of Warcraft

2011-07-11T10:00:00.001-07:00

As Reuters reports that 22 years after the Tiananmen protests, there are still people in jail because of it (http://af.reuters.com/article/worldNews/idAFTRE7522FZ20110603), now comes news that Chinese prisoners are being made to play, 'World of Warcraft.' Doing repeated menial tasks on the game, they earn small amounts of virtual gold which is then sold to lazy gamers who want to advance in Warcraft quicker. Prison officials are apparently raking in a hefty profit. Marx would have been proud. http://blogs.forbes.com/davidewalt/2011/05/26/chinese-prison-guards-forced-inmates-into-virtual-work-gangs/

Does God have a Sense of Humour?

2011-07-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Let us turn to the Book of Numbers...

Further proving that He is a maniacal killing machine, the Lord God ends the lives of 10 scouts because of their unfavourable report on the hospitality of the land, by way of plague in Numbers 14:35-36. By verse 16:49 He has killed 14,700 because He has grown tired of all of their complaining. But in 21:6 we learn that people still hadn't gotten the message: Now the Lord sends a wrath of poisonous snakes to further thin out the ranks of nagging complainers.

Does God have a Sense of Humour?

Sodom and Gomorrah really P.O'd the Lord. Amen.

The answer is a resounding: No. Nope, He does not. The Lord God is a decidedly unfunny omnipresent supreme being-what with all the killings and everything. He kills almost all of mankind in the Great Flood because they were becoming increasingly sinful, rains fire and sulphur down to destroy two towns (Sodom and Gomorrah) because they were becoming increasingly sinful, and then kills Onan (Genesis 38:10) because He caught him masturbating (Although some Biblical scholars now believe that Onan's crime was, 'pulling out').

The Lord is one seriously unfunny dude.

Amen.

But Wait!

From 1961 to 1966 there was a television sitcom about a talking horse! It was called, 'Mr. Ed.' While a popular hit, this show was really a rip-off of, 'Francis the Talking Mule:' which was a series of seven films from the 1950's. But these seven films were, infact, really a rip-off of the Bible!

In Numbers 22:21-29 a guy named Balaam is out with his troublesome donkey who he ends up beating a total of three times. Eventually, the animal asks him, 'Yo, why all the rage?' and the two end up conversing about it.

While we have shown conclusively that God has no sense of humour whatsoever, many funny things can still be found in the Bible: They are just few and far between. But it's important to remember that without this great Book we wouldn't have...

Ned Flanders...

Or Father Ted...

Or Francis the Talking Mule...

Has Anyone Ever Survived the Electric Chair?

2011-07-07T07:33:00.000-07:00

The electric chair was invented in 1888 as a more humane method of execution than hanging. Death was thought to occur instantaneously and without pain. Boy, were they wrong! The condemned usually writhed in agony as more than a few jolts were required over the course of often several minutes. It wasn't uncommon for the head to catch fire or for the skin to bleed as the prisoner was roasted. Currently, there are still people awaiting their death in the hot seat in the United States. However, these prisoners have been given a choice between this method and lethal injection, preferring to be electrocuted.

A Dead Man is Executed

In 1903 Fred Van Wormer, convicted of murdering his uncle, was marched to the chair in Sing Sing Prison. He was electrocuted and thought to be dead. But later, in the autopsy room, he started moving again. They decided to re-execute him. The executioner, who had gone home, was called to return. By the time they were ready, Van Wormer had already expired. As a technicality, they strapped his dead body back into the chair and electrocuted him one more time-just to be sure.

A Survivor

On May 3rd, 1946 Willie Francis was to be executed by electricity for the murder of his former employer. The chair, nicknamed, 'Gruesome Gertie,' was actually portable. It was placed in a panel van and carted from town to town to carry out sentences in the state of Louisiana.

Francis was strapped in and later told of how dying had tasted a lot like cold peanut butter and of seeing a multitude of colours. Witnesses reported that as he was being shocked, he began to shout: "Let me breathe," and, "I'm not dying!"

It turned out that the two people setting up the chair had been drunk, failing to ground it properly. Francis, only 16 when he allegedly committed the murder, was successfully executed the following year.

Was Electrocution More Humane than Hanging?

In 1935 the Canadian executioner named Arthur Ellis ended his career when he hanged Thomasina Sarao. He miscalculated her weight and, as her body fell through the trap door, her head ripped right off in the noose.

In 1906 William Williams was hanged in Minnesota. They got the length of the rope wrong so when the trap door opened he fell to the floor. They quickly grabbed the rope and pulled him up, strangling him to death.

In 1885 John Henry George Lee was waiting for the trap door to open to end his life. It didn't! It failed to open a total of three times. He was returned to his cell and, later, his sentence was reduced to life.

A Piece of American History

With support for capital punishment still strong in America, the states that do have it are moving toward lethal injection as an acceptable method. All electric chairs will soon end up as museum relics illustrating one more draconian method which was used to kill the condemned.

Spitting Image: Ridiculing Politicians in the 1980s

2011-07-06T07:00:00.001-07:00

The 1980's were a most excellent time for making fun of the people in power!

Look at what you had to work with: Ronald Reagan was in charge here. A former Hollywood actor, he had been a household name in 1950. By the 80's most people believed that he had been a 'B' movie star. He struck the world as a down to earth cowboy and he is what people thought of when they thought, 'America'.

On the other side of the political spectrum was Mikhail Gorbachev, leader of the Soviet Union; what Reagan had described as, 'The Evil Empire.' He was the first cool, personable Soviet leader. The Stalinists were dying off and the Commies needed a younger General Secretary who, once in charge, began to democratize things. Gorby was also easily recognizable with a large red birthmark over his forehead.

The U.K. had Margaret Thatcher. She was a pretty conservative woman. Many joked that the, 'Iron Lady' was really a man.

By the 1990's things began to get boring. George Bush (the 1rst) replaced Reagan. Thatcher retired and left John Major in charge. He was so plain and monotonous that nobody remembers him. Stuff happened back in the USSR forcing Gorby into early retirement. One glimmer of hope by the 90's was that the Vice President was Dan Quayle: Now he was a funny politician!

There existed a show in the 80's whose sole purpose was to make fun of famous people. They used puppets. Many Americans had seen, 'Spitting Image.' It was on only sometimes late at night, though...

Most Recent Darwin Award Nominee

2011-07-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

A 55-year-old New York man was taking part in a motorcycle ride with over 500 riders to protest helmet laws. He was against them. Many chopper fanatics are still adamant that they have a constitutional right to speed down the highway on their hogs without any head protection and this particular guy was outspoken in his beliefs. During the ride he hit the brakes and was sent flying over the handle bars. Police suggest that if he had been wearing a helmet he probably would have survived.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/york-rider-dies-protesting-motorcycle-helmet-law/story?id=13993417

Spoiled Communist Brats!

2011-07-04T08:23:00.000-07:00

Communism is an economic system which creates a class of super-elites. As was the case in the Soviet Union when long line ups and waiting lists were required to buy anything from daily essentials to automobiles. Today the top of the Chinese hierarchy is bloated on the spoils of corruption.

Li Qiming decided to get really drunk and speed around in his black Volkswagen. He mowed down two roller skating university students, killing one of them. When he was stopped by a guard he tried to escape with the excuse that, "My father is Li Gang:" Who is the deputy chief of police.

The Chinese government has done everything that it can to suppress this story from making its rounds on the net. Rumours are that the court has taken away Li Qiming's driver's licence for three years and that Li Gang paid 500,000 renminbi to the deceased girl's parents.

This whole thing has turned into something similar to a, 'Not' joke. You know those annoying people that say: "I'd like to be attacked by a shark when I go swimming...Not." The Chinese have a better sense of humour than them. Now, when someone accidentally gives top secret info to American agents or builds a bridge that collapses, they can get a laugh by saying, "My father is Li Gang."

http://www.chinahush.com/2010/11/20/renren-in-the-my-dad-is-li-gang-incident-fuss/

"My father is Li Gang!"

The Middle Ages Was Really All Just A Bad Acid Trip!

2011-07-04T07:13:00.001-07:00

When one regards the religious fanaticism of the past it is pertinent to ask, 'What drugs were these people on?' From prophets to mass hallucinations and miracles, to wars and riots which pitted countryman against countryman, to the ruthlessness of the establishment that sought to persecute those they believed to be in league with the devil, clearly our ancestors were stoned out of their minds.

But what were they tripping on?

The answer is simple: LSD.

Acid was first isolated by a chemist named Albert Hoffman and accidentally ingested by him in 1943. His trip was, what he described as, "Not unpleasant." He felt that it had stimulated his imagination. Our ancestors weren't so lucky as, when they accidentally ingested it, it was never in such a pure form.

Hoffman had been working with a fungus known as ergot because, while it was known to be poisonous, small amounts of it had been found to have medicinal benefits.

Taking this fungus to get high certainly isn't advisable. Eating ergot leads to 'ergotism' which is characterized by all kinds of horrid things: While you will probably hallucinate, your skin will turn green with gangrene and your fingers and toes will eventually fall off

Those symptoms sound like a description of a witch (minus the black pointy hat and the flying broom, of course).

Entire populations suffered from ergot poisoning up until recent times because it was in the bread that they ate. The fungus grew in rye, wheat, and other cereals. In very dark flour the discolouration that it caused went unnoticed. This was unfortunate because rye bread was a staple for many. By 1670 a French doctor named Thuillier began making observations on how, what had been called, 'The Holy Fire' was spread. Before that people had little understanding as to why some were acting completely insane.

Today we should consider ourselves lucky that we eat balanced meals free from contaminations of fungi which will drive us crazy and cause us to set fire to those whom we do not understand.

The Not So Gay 1950s

2011-07-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

In the 1950's homosexuality was seen as a psychiatric illness. It wasn't uncommon that cures would be sought out which included rigorous counselling and, even, lobotomies. With Cold War paranoia at its height, gays were an easy scapegoat and were seen as being treasonous. Most of the people who were fired from the State Department were let go because of questions regarding their sexuality. So you didn't want to be the one guy whose white shirt got in with the coloured wash and ended up wearing pink to work.

One of the reasons for this anti-gay hysteria was the rationale that they could be blackmailed. Surprisingly very few people were openly gay in this era of roller skating waitresses and tail-finned cars. So all the Soviets needed to do was get a few compromising photos of their subject in a same-sex situation and, presto, he would become a tool of the communist juggernaut.

The prejudice against gays was all very hypocritical. J. Edgar Hoover, the director of the FBI, was chief in hunting these subversives. Meanwhile, his long time companion was a man named Clyde Tolson. The last thing that either of these two were was openly gay yet, they never dated women, were always together, vacationed with each other, and are now buried beside one another.

While it was almost always a secret who was gay in the 1950's, one of the other men that made McCarthyism a career was Roy Marcus Cohen. One of the greatest attorneys of all time, he was zealous in hunting communists and homosexuals. Yet he was gayer than Elton John at a Lady Gaga concert during gay pride week in Toronto, Ontario.

No Boys in Latvia

2011-06-28T08:17:00.000-07:00

Latvia is having a serious man shortage leaving a lot of women unable to get a date. Females outnumber men by 8% in this former Soviet Baltic Republic. Since the fall of communism women have faired much better than men: Males are known to die young largely because of high risk behaviour inluding alcohol, drugs, and accidents.

Latvia gained freedom from communism in 1991 and, since than, the economy has remained stagnant. Unemployment is often as high as 20%

It is a country of over 2,200,000 people and borders Russia, Estonia, Lithuania, and Belarus.

What Latvian girls look like...

Pics from: http://www.tumblr.com/

North Korea's Ultimate Super Weapon: The Shrink Ray

2011-06-28T08:05:00.000-07:00

Has the multi billion dollar U.S. military complex been outfoxed by North Korea? Forever America has been a leader in unconventional weapons. They've experimented with everything from mind control, to biological weapons, to ray guns. And they've put a lot of these inventions into use, even if they won't admit it. Why has North Korea been so brazen as if they want war with the superpower? Recent news out of the Pyongyang speaks of a new fiendish weapon: The Penis Shrinking Ray Gun (or PSRG).

Brilliant inventor and military
strategist?

Kim Jong-il has always fancied himself as a bit of an inventor. At the World Cup the DPRK coach boasted about how his dear leader had invented invisible cell phones. Now comes word of an immense new weapon which will make an enemy soldier's manhood less than immense, created by none other than the diabolical rogue dictator.

The Raytheon Company (an American defense contractor) has had what they call the, 'Silent Guardian' for years now. It is a ray gun which does not do an individual any damage: It just causes pain. Developed for crowd dispersal, this technology was closely watched by Kim and his top scientists. The weapon they proceeded to invent follows the same principles but concentrates the ray on the male gonads, resulting in severe shrinking. And the damage is irreversible.

The North Koreans may have just the weapon to turn advancing armies into fleeing cowards without even a shot fired. For there is one thing that men fear more than nuclear annihilation: A puney member.

The Amazing Stephen Colbert

2011-06-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

An Unauthorized Biography

Stephen Tyrone Colbert was born one wondrous day on May 13th, 1964 and America became a better place. He is the youngest of eleven children so there is no surprise that he gets his down-to-earth conservatism and clever wit and charm from his Irish-Catholic upbringing. That or it is the result of being picked on all of his life by older siblings.

Growing up in South Carolina, Colbert did not like having a southern accent. As a child he would constantly watch news broadcasts and try to impersonate their speech in order to sound less like the characters on his least favourite show, 'The Beverly Hillbillies.'

Like many normal teenagers Colbert enjoyed science fiction and fantasy role playing games. Life in high school for young Stephen was all about Dungeons and Dragons. Walking around talking to himself in an attempt to sound like Morley Safer while constantly fidgeting with polyhedral dice, already many knew that young Stephen would grow into a formidable adult.

At Northwestern University, he discovered a love for the preforming arts. After graduating he decided to become an actor and got a job at Second City answering phones, intent on working his way up.

Dramatization

Writing scripts for, 'Saturday Night Live' and temping as a correspondent for 'Good Morning America', Colbert was soon discovered which led to roles on, 'Strangers with Candy' and, 'The Daily Show.'

It was on, 'The Daily Show,' that he encountered his mortal nemesis: A fiend so sick and twisted that many are unsure if he is human. Some refer to him as, 'Nosferatu,' while to the Comedy Network he is simply called, 'Jon Stewart.'

Stephen and Jon quickly realized that they didn't like each other. Some cite political ideological differences between the two. Others suggest that they are simply hiding from the fact that they are destined to become life partners.

On October 17th a severe injustice was finally dealt with: It was the fact that Stephen did not have his own show. This wrong was made right with the airing of the first, 'Colbert Report.' Since then he has gone on to inform and entertain America.

The 'F' Word

2011-06-20T08:24:00.000-07:00

The 'F' word is the most versatile word in the English language. It can be used as a verb, adjective, noun, or to modify other words.

"That 'F' head Carl got so 'F'ing drunk that he was so

'F'd up he drove the 'F'ing tractor into the 'F'ing pond. What an 'F' up."

One legend as to how people started using the 'F' word is that it began as an acronym. During the plague ridden Middle Ages, the powers that be tried to regulate who could have children. Royal permission had to be granted and it was called, 'Fornicating Under Consent of King.' Other variations of this story is that it stands for, 'Fornicating Under Carnal Knowledge,' or 'False Use of Carnal Knowledge.'

It's very unlikely that the 'F' word started off this way. I doubt that most people even knew what an acronym was back then: They were all hepped up on ergot poisoning.

One of the reasons that this idea has persisted is because, in the first known written use of it, it appears like an acronym: In code. It was hidden in a poem written around 1500 which lambasts the Carmelite friars of Cambridge. When deciphered it says, 'They aren't in heaven because they 'F'd the wives near Cambridge.'

That's how people swore back then. In poems.

It is difficult to discover the exact origin of the 'F' word because you could get slapped for saying it, so proper records weren't kept. It is likely that it came from the Old German word, 'pfluog,' which means to plow and, therefore, has sexual undertones.

Today the 4-letter word that originally was an uncouth way of saying, 'fornication' has finally entered the mainstream...

Vice President Joe Biden to President Obama while

signing health care reform legislation: "This is a big 'F'ing deal!"

The Irish Solution...

How to make the 'F' word more acceptable in regular day to day use? Change a letter: In Ireland the word, 'feck' can be used in the same way as the 'F' word. However, it does not have the same sexual connotations so it is never considered as bad.

The 'F' word will undoubtedly be with us for many, many generations to come.

The 'F'ing future

Democrats Alienate Millions of Male Voters

2011-06-18T11:10:00.000-07:00

Amid pressure from his own party, Rep. Anthony Weiner has stepped down.

The Congressman had made headlines for exposing himself on Twitter.

Taking lewd photographs of one's self to share online is a past time enjoyed by millions of American men. It is estimated to be more popular than checkers, lawn bowling, or butterfly collecting.

Who will the Democrats force out of office next? Stamp collectors?

I'm going to eat less to try to be like that guy from the movie, 'Highlander.'
	Yes
	No

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