Friday, July 8, 2011

Does God have a Sense of Humour?


Let us turn to the Book of Numbers...

Further proving that He is a maniacal killing machine, the Lord God ends the lives of 10 scouts because of their unfavourable report on the hospitality of the land, by way of plague in Numbers 14:35-36. By verse 16:49 He has killed 14,700 because He has grown tired of all of their complaining. But in 21:6 we learn that people still hadn't gotten the message: Now the Lord sends a wrath of poisonous snakes to further thin out the ranks of nagging complainers.



Does God have a Sense of Humour?

Sodom and Gomorrah really P.O'd the Lord. Amen.
The answer is a resounding: No. Nope, He does not. The Lord God is a decidedly unfunny omnipresent supreme being-what with all the killings and everything. He kills almost all of mankind in the Great Flood because they were becoming increasingly sinful, rains fire and sulphur down to destroy two towns (Sodom and Gomorrah) because they were becoming increasingly sinful, and then kills Onan (Genesis 38:10) because He caught him masturbating (Although some Biblical scholars now believe that Onan's crime was, 'pulling out').

The Lord is one seriously unfunny dude.

Amen.



But Wait!

From 1961 to 1966 there was a television sitcom about a talking horse! It was called, 'Mr. Ed.' While a popular hit, this show was really a rip-off of, 'Francis the Talking Mule:' which was a series of seven films from the 1950's. But these seven films were, infact, really a rip-off of the Bible!

In Numbers 22:21-29 a guy named Balaam is out with his troublesome donkey who he ends up beating a total of three times. Eventually, the animal asks him, 'Yo, why all the rage?' and the two end up conversing about it.

While we have shown conclusively that God has no sense of humour whatsoever, many funny things can still be found in the Bible: They are just few and far between. But it's important to remember that without this great Book we wouldn't have...

Ned Flanders...


Or Father Ted...


Or Francis the Talking Mule...


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